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Cell Phones in
the Abacos "This is an extended service from Batelco. In order to complete your call please enter your pin number." "This is an extended service from Batelco. In order to complete you call please enter your pin number." This is .. I obeyed the monotonous request as many times it was made and pressed the Send' button, each time clutching the tiny machine a little tighter in my sweaty palm. Determined to stay composed and not to be outwitted by a 2" x 5" lump of plastic dotted with numbers, I painstakingly punched in my pin number, digit by digit. Within seconds my four figure personal code appeared three times in a neat row on the narrow screen, followed by beep! beep! beep! There was a momentary silence and then two words in bold capitals flashed "NO SERVICE." At that point I lost it. My strangulated screams echoed throughout the settlement of Hope Town, vying in volume with Lily, 'The Cat Lady,' who of late has taken to yelling obscenities around town. "Oh! Just Stephanie making a quick call," one resident reassured a concerned tourist who heard me uttering moans as I clambered from the surface of a high rainwater tank in the centre of town, where I had been perched in the vain hope of gaining favourable reception. What I had omitted to factor in was that there is no logic to making a cellular call. I might have been better off crawling inside the tank! Who knows? I don't think even Batelco does! Well! I have only myself to blame. Do I really need the crazy contraption? I existed quite happily without it up until two months ago. One more appendage! One more thing to take care of! One more expense! When it works, as indeed it does on occasions, it is a valuable tool - in fact ask me after I have just pushed "Send" and established contact and I will describe it as "invaluable." I may even go as far as to say it is "indispensable." However, on a really bad day I would describe it as useless, aging, frustrating and guaranteed to evoke homicidal tendencies in even the gentlest of people. Let's face it, it is the "in-thing" to have a cellular or, to be hip, a "cell" phone. It sits snugly on the belt, spelling out success. "I've arrived !" it says. "Call me on my cell." I tell my friends, registering their grins. "Thinks she's hot stuff with her new toy!" I am not a busy executive or emergency room physician., I can go out of range' without endangering humanity. No irreparable harm will befall the business world.. No lives will be lost if I am incommunicado but, like thousands of people in Abaco, I justify my reasons for needing one. I travel out of town so much; I might have a flat tire on the way to Fox Town or on that long stretch between Crossing Rocks and Sandy Point.. Unless a cellular phone is vital to a person's job or he/she does not have a land line, then it is merely an intrusion and yet another threat to one's privacy. Why in the world school children need them - though parents benefit from this self-imposed monitoring - is beyond me. Saying that, my son has one!!! Why cellular customers take their phones to parties beats me. At the recent Sandy Point Homecoming there were more cell phones than cars and people were straining to speak on them over the boom of the music. By definition a 'service' is something provided in exchange for a monetary fee. The difference with the cellular "service" in Abaco is that the fee remains constant but the 'service' does not. Cellular customers are becoming disgruntled at the unpredictable service and, unpredictability being one of the most distressing of all human conditions, the outcome is inevitable. Batelco is coming under criticism from all sectors of the community. The normal reaction to the "NO SERVICE" scenario is an irate call to Batelco but this recourse is thwarted by the very nature of the complaint. Catch 22! Another is to sling the cellular as far as possible out of range but with it goes that high installation fee and a definite guarantee of NO SERVICE in the future. With the Batelco package for cellular installation should come a supply of tranquilizers for when communication breaks down in mid -sentence and the person on the receiving end says somewhat prophetically, "Hello! Hello! You are breaking up!" In defense of our telephone company which has indeed had a bad year , we must remember that we live in a country which is struggling to stay abreast technologically despite its limitations and geographical insularity. It is amazing we have phones after last hurricane season., let alone cellulars. Be patient, cell phone users. Be "hip"! Stay cool! However, I challenge myself to feel this when I am precariously balanced on the highest limb of a tree in my yard and close to "breaking up!" |
